Jozi girl- Sexy or Slutty

It's summer time baby!!!!!!!!!!!! The season of heat, love, partying and hectic nights with no sleep because of mosquitoes, it's also a season of fashion, were boys and girls alike get to whip out their short sleeves and short everything!!!! Girls start showing a whole lot more skin, which is something that most guys seem to enjoy, judging by the posts from my facebook friends - they truely enjoy the apperant peep show and the girls in Johannesburg don't seem to really mind, when a guy wolve whistles or exclaims how "lovely" those legs look.

So the quetions I want to pose to you today are: Is there a fine line between sexy and slutty? Should women still be subjected to names such as whore and slut, when they dress the way they wish to? If we truely are moving forward as a society, then should'nt we stop throwing this issue of clothing under the microscope each summer? and lastly why is it a problem for women to dress up in short skirts and tight tops?

The month of September is a month of heritage, where we get together to celebrate who we are and where we come from as South Africans, be it you're black or white, male or female, heritage month is a month for everyone. Many events will be taking place this month: The start of the Rubgy world cup and the mtn8 final are the first events which would most probably come to mind for most people, but another event of note which will be taking place in Johannesburg which most people (men) don't really know about is the first annual "slut walk" on the 24th of September, where thousands of women are expected to come together and march through the streets of Jozi in the sluttiest clothing they have as a way of sending a message to all men that women can and WILL dress which ever way they want, and that any man who has a problem with that can fling himself out a window. When I first heard of this "slut walk" I thought it was a great initiative and in fact I thought about participating in it, I until I saw a post by one of my facebook freinds about how disgusted he was by the lack of clothing at the Vaal beach party, and how he wishes that young girls would respect themselves enough to realise that their really is such a thing as taking it to far.

As much as the feminist in me would have loved to disagree with him, I could'nt deny that there was some truth to what he was saying. Short dresses and bum shorts are great in the summer, as it is extremely hot and they do help by keeping a girl cool, but there's a huge differnce between trying to keep cool and trying to provoke some boys sexual feelings, because as most boys will tell you, they can't controll  their sexual urges and if a ''chicken'' comes to you and says "pluck me" they will "pluck" it. This kind of talk angers me because this means that everytime a women wears a short skirt, these boys assume that she's trying provoke them sexually? Why are guys allowed to bear as much as they want without being harrased and told "You're turning me on" in a vile, disgusting, violating manner? Are women your possesions? Do you little boys think that women do everything because of you? Personally I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but the way I look has nothing to do with you, so you had better back up right there.

The differnce between a boy and a man is appreciation and perving, you decide for yourself which one is which, but with that said, ladies you can dress up which ever way you wish, no one is going to stop you, but so long as you know that you are living in a country where women will always be lesser then men, so remember that when you dress up in a sexy or slutty manner, their will be consequences to bear, I just hope you're strong enough to deal.

Jozi girl-The changing tide

I love Johannesburg-Gauteng, I mean seriously I'm not trying to be funny or something, but really I do. I first arrived here on the 11th of February 2011, and since that day I can honestly say I've been approaced by one guy, yes I know what your thinking "It's September and you've only been approaced once?" ok let me explain myself - I come from a small town called Emalahleni in Mpumalanga, now you can imagine that since it's a small town, everybody knows everybody, and everbody has dated everybody, for me personally that was the norm, to have a guy date atleast two girls in what we call "ischeme", and then I came to Joburg only to find that here the population is enormous and there are literally millions and millons of guys - short ones, tall ones, skinny ones, dark ones, light ones the list is endless.

When I left Emalahleni in February I proudly declared that I have a type, you know a particular set of features which I thought were absolutely perfect - tall, dark and skinny wooooooooooo!!! now that's what I'm talking - atleast so I thought until I came to JHB, I discovered that I don't just find skinny and tall attractive, but I also find buff, short and light attractive, can you imagine?, but getting back to my explanation of why I believe I've been approaced only once, in Emalahleni when a guy asks you "out" he wants you to be his gilfriend, and once you agree to go "out" with him, the two of you are in a relationship, well atleast thats how I saw it, but appreantly its so much more different in Joburg.

In this wonderful city that I'm in right now, guys don't ask you "out", no instead a guy will say "I like you" and he wants to explore the possibilities of the two of you bieng together, and so that means that you're in a pre-relationship while you "explore" eachother. This notion has left me speechless on more than one occasion, because I saw a friend experience it, and I just could'nt get it until it happened to me.

The guy whom I honestly believe was the first and only to approach me is a Zulu who comes from Durban, he did'nt tell me that he "likes" me and wants to "explore" us, nope "ugishelile" like normal black men are suppose to, he came to me with the intention of bieng in a relationship with me, not to "explore" me (whatever that means) needless to say the Zulu guy's efforts did'nt quite work for me, because I saw him as bieng too forward and too old-fashioned. I had given up on dating in Johannesburg, until I recently met a guy who says he want to "explore" me, at first I was baffled and I could'nt quite get it "explore me?", yep it was happening to me the "new age dating". Although I was quite clueless and really I still am, I think I like this "new age dating" It gives two peoaple - two young people- the chance to feel eachother out (not literally) and decide if getting into an actual relationship will be worth it, which in most cases it is'nt.

So the pre-relatoinship helps to spare one alot of pain and heartache and confusion about what you did right or wrong. The tide is seriously changing and thanks to modernisied cities, such as Johannesburg, dating will never be the same again.